but the thing is, is that this blog is made for me to express what i am actually thinking, but after i got caught on my “personal” blog for cutting, i am afraid to actually post what i am truly feeling on here. i’ll post my thoughts, but not any actual actions because of my past experience with “personal” tumblrs. but anyways, i’m in arkansas and it’s weird, i just feel as if i want to be here for my brother and mommy, it’s great seeing my step family, but my real family matters more to me personally.
but ever since i have been “taken advantage of” by guys that were in texas, i am more guard feeling of when guys hit on me or my step brother “joking” about us having sex or if he touches me innapropriately, i feel really bothered by it, like ill smile and stuff, but he’s touching me innapropriately, like touching my butt and stuff, i just honestly do not like it and i feel as if i have to put on a smile and pretend like it’s okay.
there’s a few things that i have never told anyone before about my childhood, not even my (i do consider her this, but i do have a few, but i think she applies to this) best friend any of this because of the fact i am too embarassed of it. this stuff involves stuff i let guys do without me letting them to, but me just going with the flow. honestly, i have no idea how i will ever be able to tell anyone that, even if i write it down.
but i’ll begin to post more on this, and this is my inner mind and inner blog, but i hope i don’t forget.
